The Serious Lesbian Librarian

I’m very rarely serious. This is a problem. I need help.

I mean, seriously…well, that’s enough of that. I broke a sweat after three seconds of attempting serious thought…key term is attempting as I didn’t succeed.

There are certain advantages to this. Generally, even though they are getting to the age where they try to hide it, I can make my kids laugh at the littlest things. Realistically, after this, all else is just gravy as there is nothing like hearing your child giggle at something you did.

As a flirting technique, humour is second to none. Once the goddess is smiling, it is not likely she’ll say ‘no’. It is, however, my burden to keep this super power in check as much as I applaud the raising of the skirt…I remember The Crying Game.

The Crying Game has a lot in common with Christine O’Donnell in that sense…the comedy gift that keeps on giving. I keep hoping they’ll do a sequel. Call it “Oops, I Did it Again” and have Britney Spears make a cameo as the lesbian librarian. Just think of ticket sales based on fantasy alone…unfortunately I doubt any would be back to see it a second time. I am certain that by using the title I did, any men reading this who don’t know my reputation are disappointed…perhaps even some who do know me are as well.

Apparently not being serious leads to good taste as well. After watching “Johnny English” again with my daughter this past weekend I recommended it to an online friend for her boys to watch. Now, I slipped under the covers early, but woke to find a couple emails offering a bit of play-by-play on the film. I still think that the bathroom scene with him singing Abba’s “Does Your Mama Know that You’re Out” reminds me of a friend on Facebook…don’t make me repost that scene…it can only end in tears…again.

They say the best humour comes from hurt…from pain. Let me tell you, when I was on that Percheron last Saturday and got him up to a gallop…thoughts that I should have been wearing a cup must have been followed by classic hilarity. Of course I know that’s not what they mean, but it is now Wednesday and my leg muscles are still screaming, so STFU!

So…um…where the fuck was I going with this? I think I had a point when I started writing this…or did I?

Oh yes, now I remember.

STOP LAUGHING! You’re not helping me get past this problem…and as the great Billy Crystal once said…”You….bastards!”

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