Best Hamster Wheel Ever!

“A son? And here I thought you’d been shooting blanks.”

“Grace!” Gray refrained from throwing the phone against the wall.

“I’m teasing. Considering your habits, I wouldn’t be surprised if you have more than one out there.”

Gray harumphed an agreement. “True.”

“Your friend Gwen, however, is a bitch. Mid fuck is not the time to mention you have a kid.”

Gray laughed. “Anyway, I have to go as we’re meeting for dinner. Miss you, Grace.”

“Won’t be long and you’ll be home so I can yell at you in person again. Oh, and we have a new one at the bar to bet on.”

“Love you, see you Sunday.”

“Love you, too. I’ll be at the airport.”

Gray hung up the phone just as the shower turned off.

Within an hour, he was showered, dressed and already seated beside Gwen in a booth at the hotel restaurant.

“He should have been here by now.” Gwen checked around.

Gray grinned, more from nerves than anticipation. He had a black suit that was slightly too large for him. His salt and pepper hair was slicked straight back giving him a wise guy look.

Gwen had a green blouse and black pants. Her red hair fell just past her shoulders.

The waitress stepped to the table. “Drinks while you wait?” The room was dimly lit from hanging lamps in an attempt to be retro 80s decor.

“Yes,” Gray answered with a little too much enthusiasm. “Gwen?”

“Red house wine.” She stifled a laugh.

“Kokanee, do you have it on tap?”

“No, sir, just bottles.”

“That will be fine.” Gray wondered if he had enough time to take up smoking before…

“There they are.” Gwen pointed at the door. “Well, there she is. That’s Missy.”

“The girlfriend?” Gray asked, not because he did not know, but more as a way to stop himself from whistling a cat call.

The woman at the door was blonde, blue eyed, and had a chest that would see around corners minutes before her head did. She was in a white sun dress with blue flowers on it. Missy also looked much older than Gray had expected.

Gwen waved and got Missy’s attention.

Missy wandered through the maze of tables to the booth.

“Where is he?” Gwen asked.

Missy sighed. “He’s coming. Just had a little wardrobe malfunction.”

“Okay.” Gwen’s brow creased.

Gray stood. “I’m Gray.”

Missy smiled. “Gray?” She glanced at Gwen. “This is…”

“His father, yes.”

“Wow.” She stuck out her hand and shook his. “I’m sorry, I’m Missy.”

“Please,” Gray said as he gestured to the other side of the booth.

The waitress brought over the two drinks.

Missy asked the waitress, “Can I have a rye and soda?”

The waitress nodded before retreating from the table.

“So you’re dating my son?”

Missy giggled. “Not really. We’re just fuck buddies.”

Gray almost choked on his first mouthful of beer.

“Yeah, he helps me with calculus and I give him blow jobs. Good deal, really.”

Were it not for his hair being mostly black, Gray would have been completely white now. “Really.” He turned to Gwen. “He’s good at calculus, I take it?”

Missy glared at Gwen. “You said he’d be okay with it.”

Gwen nodded and silenced Missy with a raised hand. “Gray, I didn’t quite tell you everything about him. In fact, I don’t think I’ve told you anything about him yet.”

Gray blinked a few times before stating the obvious question, “Such as?”

“Your son is 18, and was teaching university calculus by the time he was 13. He now has a doctorate in mathematics and is almost finished his chemical engineering courses. He’s teaching at the University of Toronto to help him pay for his current study project.”

Gray almost fell off the bench. He quickly drained the rest of his beer before whispering, “I fucking begot Sheldon Cooper.”

“Who?” Missy asked.

Gwen laughed.

“Don’t worry about it. Wait a second, he’s 18, right?”

“Right,” Gwen answered.

Gray glanced over at Missy. “The waitress didn’t think twice about your drink. How old are you?”


Gray blinked again just as the waitress returned with Missy’s drink. “I’m staying at the hotel. Can I have three more beer, together please.”

The waitress was surprised, but went to fill his order.

Missy smiled. “Hamster is very mature for his age.”

Gray cocked his head in a half nod. “Yeah, I get that but…wait, Hamster?”

Gwen laughed. “Yes, Hamster. A pet name that came from Graham Herald…”

“Junior,” Gray finished his son’s name with a whisper.

Gwen patted his leg under the table and gave his balls a light squeeze. “You’re Gray, and he’s Ham.”

Gray’s cock remained sleeping as, it seemed, all blood was being diverted to the head above the neck to figure this out.

Missy chuckled. “Gwen had never told me your name, and that’s why I was shocked.”

“You were shocked?” Gray ran the palm of his hand over his face.

“There he is,” Gwen announced.

Gray looked over and saw a small plump pimple faced boy enter the restaurant.  The boy wore a navy hoodie over blue jeans.  His eyes scanned the room until he found his waving mother.  He waded between the tables to the booth.

“He was supposed to wear his suit,” Gwen complained.

“Wardrobe malfunction,” Missy reminded, rolling her eyes.

Gray stood to meet the boy.

“Ham,” Gwen looked up at him.  “This is Gray, your dad.”

He shook Gray’s hand and looked up at his father.  “You’re taller than I figured.”

“Considering I had no idea about you until an hour ago, I’m not sure what I figured.”

Gwen and Missy both slid out of the booth.

“We’ll just go freshen up for a moment and be right back,” Gwen said with a smile and grabbed Missy’s arm to lead her away.

Gray and Ham shared a slow awkward moment before both sitting.

“So,” Gray said.

“So,” Ham nodded his agreement.

“Your mother and girlfriend tell me you are quite the brain.”

Ham’s eyes turned to the direction the women had gone.  “She’s not my girlfriend, you know.”

Gray nodded, “Yes, she told me.”

“I just use her for the sex.  Even with my help, she’s not passing anything as she’s dumb as a bag of hammers.”

Gray laughed.

Ham smiled for the first time at his father.

“Kid, I like you already.  You may have your mother’s brain, but I think you have my wit.”

Ham’s blue eyes sparkled.  “You live in Calgary, right?”

Gray nodded.

“I have to get out there sometime.”

“You can certainly stay with Gwen and I.  When would you want to come?  When are you done school for the year?”

“I’m done in two months.”

“I could help pay for you to come.  I’m not rich or anything, but certainly could help at least.”

Ham smiled again.  “That would be cool, but finances are not a problem.  I will take you up on the place to stay, though.”

Gray sipped his beer.  “I go home this weekend, but then have a quick trip to Tennessee.  Trying to start my own business, actually.”

Ham shrugged.

“Your mother tells me you’re working on a project.”

Ham nodded.  “Trying to make a stronger condom.”

Gray chuckled.  “Cute.  Remaking a wheel then?  We’re both selling something, then.”

“No, I’m serious.  Reworking the chemical properties to make a stronger condom.”

Gray smiled.  “You’re going to make me cry now, aren’t you.”

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