A Lesson in Segways

Just sat through Miss Congeniality…yes, I chose it. It was either that or punish myself with The Expendables again, and that was not going to happen.

It was not bad, mind you. Benjamin Bratt gave his normal mind-numbing performance amidst a damned fine cast. I do think Sandra Bullock should have been a comedian, which helps. Then, of course, there is Michael Caine who adds a touch of class to everything her is in. This film even was a bit of a prequel to Captain Kirk and Muprhy Brown hooking up on Boston Legal.

So, the biggest decision today is whether or not to shave.

I did mention that I do not do segways, right?

I now sit in bed and feel my whiskers scraping on my chest as I sit up on one arm to tap this out on the ole’ Blackberry. I probably should have shaved.

Never an easy decision when no goddess is around to ask. That answer would always come from their preference on how ticklish whiskers are on their thighs.

Hanny, the doberman, has refused to answer…but I don’t go down on him and perhaps that is why he never answers any questions. Maybe he’s jealous.

I suddenly feel like I am in the middle of that scene with Homer and Spider-Pig when Homer suggests they kiss just to break the tension.

Okay, all joking aside…

…no, I cannot do that. When am I ever serious?

Again, no segway, but now you have been warned…

So when I go down, there is a reason. Preperation!

Not off in search of lost treasures or anything…well, perhaps I am in a sense, but more so preparing her for the act of…

SLEEP! Or, me sleeping, and her sitting there, staring at the ceiling and asking the night air, “That’s it?”

Is there a better way to end an evening?

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