A Cold Planet

May4thThe Mrs and I have been trying something a bit different, lately…trying something new. Encouraging her to get out more, so we signed her up for a solo account for one of the swinging sites that we frequent.

In her bio, which I assisted in crafting, we wrote the following:

…this account is monitored by Mr. Stranded.

First observation is the fascinating number who simply glance over this line with one of the most common questions early on being, “Are you single?”.

As promised, the account is monitored to clear out messages that do not appeal, do not make sense and mostly ones by authors that did not bother reading her profile. This last bit is easily found with a non-lifestyle question at the end of her profile that proves whether someone read the profile or not.

This and whn dey msg lk dis, we send them the link to this:

Fine…I get that…I’m a guy and I gloss over some things I read just like any other.

However, I now understand why so many women on these sites keep that rider in their bio saying they will only respond to those they see any potential with. As one example…and not meaning to pick on any one group, the response from smokers is extraordinary even when the line “non-smokers only…NO EXCEPTIONS!!!” is included in her bio.

As a guy, when I was on a dating site, I would be lucky to get any messages initiated by a female…ever. I might get a single response for every fifty messages sent and, as a nice guy, I found this both disturbing and saddening but I excepted it by just moving on. With this profile set up, Mrs is fielding upwards of ten a day when she logs in and nine to ten of those did not read her bio. Then there are the chatters who, in quite a number of cases, become insulting and verbally abusive when not responded to.

Then there are the chatters. I’ll admit that I had an alpha-female get insulting and verbally abusive on Fetlife once when she thought I stepped out of line…key term here is ONCE. As an experiment, chat was monitored for an afternoon and only responses were sent to a select few who said something more original than, “Wanna fuck?” or “Hi” or “Sexy lady!” Even the ones that were responded to were quickly weeded down by the second or third chat-post when they simply couldn’t keep up…proving that their “original” opening line was a stock one. This said, the fascination came in that a good third of those that were not responded to became insulting and verbally abusive.

I’m not even sure where else to take this.

Guys, you’re embarrassing me.

As a nice guy that, prior to meeting my beloved, had to take the flack for you shitheads…FUCK ALL OF YOU!

It’s no wonder why dating for nice guys is such a cold planet to live on.

Wicked Wednesday


  1. I have never been on a dating site, but I have a long history of chatting, and one thing that I always found important is proper grammar and manners. I’m so with you on that.

    But… I am much more interested to see how this adventure develops. I hope we will hear more about it.

    Rebel xox
    Marie Rebelle recently posted…Brazilian WaxMy Profile

  2. When I was a singleton I did the dating websites and I hear what you are saying! Many of the men act like a bunch of gorillas in a fog of cock-led crap.

    I soon found ways of weeding out the dross and eventually the right person found his way to me and we are together now, but it was bloody hard work at times!

    Velvet x
    Velvet Rose recently posted…Womanhood – A New LifeMy Profile

  3. I’m SO in love with that Word Crimes clip, I can’t tell you. (I must have played it about twenty times on repeat when it first came out … It drove M crazy! “Your participle’s dangling” ROFL!)

    It never fails to baffle me how abusive (or just plain rude) people can be when it comes to online communication. For whatever reason, the relative anonymity afforded by the Internet seems to provoke a complete loss of basic human decency and manners in certain individuals that’s, frankly, astounding.

    I’ll be interested to see how this all develops … And I’m crossing my fingers that you’ll be able to sort the wheat from the chaff without it becoming too painful. (There are only so many ‘words as numbers’ messages that one can take!)

    Jane recently posted…Wicked Wednesday: Territory, possession, fulfilmentMy Profile

  4. I’ve never been on a dating website, nor even been single enough to be approached on any social media, but my sister is on so many, and after years, finally finds the humor and entertainment quality on them.
    From what she tells me though, you’re right: the men are rare.

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